Tool of the Month - The Prisoner’s Key
This tool is based on Inner Authority, where you invite your shadow to help you perform in front of an audience. The audience might literally be in a theater with you on the stage, but it could just as well be you performing at your best in front of the counter at the DMV. What if you happen to know that the audience you are facing has specific accusations and criticisms of you going into this encounter. Even small ones like, “this jerk is probably going to ask me for a discount or some kind of special treatment”. Don’t hide from the accusations. Instead, do what Chris Voss says to do, and compile an Accusation Audit from the jump. Imagine all the aughts and gripes and suspicions these folks might have against you. Set aside the fact that these are likely all a fabrication from your inner critic. We’ll validate the fear a little. At least at first.
Picture yourself in a courtroom. You are the defense attorney. And your shadow is the guy (or gal) who you imagine all these people think you are… a jerk, a loser, a pervert, a privileged baby, a washed up has-been (I could do this all day)… and he (or she) is chained in shackles at the witness stand. You address your audience, “Your Honor, and ladies and gentlemen of the jury. My shadow is accused of being too stupid [inferior] and too selfish [evil] to be trusted with your precious time and attention.”
Now instead of launching into your defense, turn to your shadow, pull out a key from your pocket, and unlock his chains and shackles and say… “never mind all that… I was just buttering up the audience. None of this is necessary. You’re no longer a criminal. You’re free to move about the courtroom at will. You can even leave. But I hope you’ll stay and help me with this audience.”
Now take the key you used to unlock the shackles and hand it to your shadow. Ask him what he’d like to do with it. Take whatever comes next as your shadow’s wish. Maybe he’ll swallow the key, or throw it out the window. Maybe he’ll run out of the courtroom howling down the hallway. Maybe he’ll grab his shackles up off the floor and clink them right back around his ankles. But if you’re lucky, maybe he’ll team up with you and approach the jury with confidence, stride up to them with his key in hand, and unshackle them all one by one. After all, who really wants to be on jury duty? What are the chances the judge and jury might also have their own shadows?
Testify!
This edition of Testify! is contributed in the form of an art piece and a shadow-meditation. A re-union and re-membering is playing out in this piece. What has been lost in the external world is now being found within.
For me, it has been a profound privilege to witness this artist’s ongoing recovery from self-fracturing loss; a recovery catalyzed by the full embrace of pain, uncertainty, and ceaseless effort.
As you read these vows, imagine you are transforming your own relationship with your shadow:
First Vow: For Nourishment and Prosperity "We vow to nourish and support each other, ensuring food, strength, and a prosperous life."
Second Vow: For Strength and Resilience
"We vow to develop our strength and courage to protect and uplift one another."Third Vow: For Wealth and Success
"We vow to prosper together, fulfilling our duties and building a secure future."Fourth Vow: For Harmony and Happiness
"We vow to create a life of mutual respect, love, and happiness."Fifth Vow: For Family and Children
"We vow to care for our family and share responsibility for our children and loved ones."Sixth Vow: For Health and Longevity
"We vow to stand by each other through all seasons of life, ensuring health and longevity."Seventh Vow: For Loyalty and Companionship
"We vow to be loyal, faithful, and true companions for life."
Parade of Shadows
If you’ve ever practiced Phil Stutz’ Inner Authority, then you’ve met your shadow and operationalized that relationship, aiming it at something you want from other people. Sometimes folks ask me what the effect of inviting their shadow will have on others. Hard to predict or even control. But I think this effect motivates me to use this tool sometimes. I often reach for Inner Authority in the hope that I can boost my level of presence, articulateness, creativity, and connection with others. And sometimes I hope it helps me boost the influence I have with others. It’s a little ego-ish, a little selfish… but there you have it. I want to increase my power in some social interactions. Even in my psychotherapeutic sessions.
Ideally, we’d come to realize that the whole point of the shadow relationship is the relationship itself, and the wholeness it brings. But I’ll admit it… I wasn’t exactly feeling whole when I first picked up The Tools and asked my shadow for help. In that desperate or fractured state, I started the relationship with a heavy mix of ego-centered motives. I find this to be one of the many graces of higher forces, they seem willing to meet me where I’m at, as long as I’m stepping forward.
So what is the effect we’re having on others when we use Inner Authority?, you might ask. I believe others will simply see you as more of you. Which is exactly what the world needs right now. I mean, what’s the alternative? More of someone else in the world? Do you suppose that more of others in the world is a good thing? At least with Inner Authority we’re getting on the side of the shadow… which is getting on the side of more of you, if only for a minute.
I believe others will find it more difficult to ignore you when you’re more whole. There is something wired into humans to take notice and pay closer attention when they encounter authenticity. People respond to the permission you’re giving them to heal their relationship with their soul, even their darkest shadows. If you see people responding to you with enthusiasm, assume their shadow is rewarding them just for paying attention to your shadow. Hard to say if you could even take credit for such a thing. So don’t. Pass the gratitude right along to your shadow.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde
One caveat. There is no guarantee that the enthusiasm coming at you and your shadow from the crowd will always be positive. You could just as easily inspire their fear and hatred, especially if they aren’t in the mood to discover the wonder of their shadow. Ultimately it’s still on you to become skilled at unlocking your shadow inwardly, while playing your best cards outwardly in the material world. There are tools for that, too. Let’s touch on those next time.
May we all unlock the shadow.
Thank you for indulging me.
Cheers!
-Denis